Wednesday 19 January 2011

An Insiders Guide to being In

Chapter 1, Introduction,


Welcome.

   You have arrived here (wherever or whatever 'here' may apply to) by various means and diverse manners, and now desire to be accepted, recognised and praised by your new found colleagues (keep reading and maybe one day, in the fulness of time, they will become "friends").
   Unfortunately for you, and everyone else on this earth, acceptance does not come easy. Much like our late-dog, Josie, who was on the alert after the introduction of new chickens into the garden social world, humans are wary of new arrivals in their own social and occupational environments.
   Right now you are probably hoping for a safe, stable and generally unspectacular position amongst your group; however in the few short months it will take for you to back-stab and elbow your way 'in' greater ambitions will have surfaced. For now we shall content ourselves with acquiring initial acceptance; respect and power will follow soon enough.




Chapter Two, Choices,


   Of course, most larger groups have multiple cliques and layers that must be plotted and navigated before one can begin to rise up the social ladder*.
   Let us take a common example: School.
   When arriving at a new school, friendless and alone, one must examine and define the various groups 'in play'. In intelligence gathering if one cannot identify the rival factions or parties which have an interest in the situation at hand then precise and concise communication and control cannot be faithfully achieved. Likewise your first priority must be to pinpoint who and what you are likely to come into contact with- forewarned is forearmed.
   So, where to start? As a general rule (see High School Musical to confirm) schools are divided as follows:

The Rebellious
The Cool Crowd
The Sporty
The Creative
The Geeks
[The Nerds]
The Limbos

   This, although an abridged list, will cover the majority of sects or factions you might come across, broadly speaking.
   As a newcomer you are, by default, a 'Limbo'. Some poor souls, myself included, strived for many a year to leave this group but with little success. The Limbos are a very outward looking band, most intent on moving to another social circle; it follows therefore that to achieve recognition and success amongst them you must actually have to leave them. This paradox has led to the limbos having a rapidly moving demograph, the incoming roughly matching the outgoing.
   Having identified the various parties, and their membership, one now has to decide which group he or she should aim for. Some people are simply destined for one party or another. Others however are more difficult to place at first. Various incentives, probabilities and points of concern must be considered- do not consider for too long however, for fear of being permanently labeled as a Limbo.
   One may, in time, become the head of their particular faction, however in the wider context, some factions are automatically higher on the social scale than others. It might be easy to rise to the lofty heights of Chief Nerd, but you are still lower than the lowest Cool Guy. This all must be carefully considered.

*Of course, some groups or clubs are single-faction institutions (i.e. Churches or Communist Dictatorships) In these situations being initially accepted is the easy part, you are a member of the faction simply by attending the group. However rising up the ladder can be much more difficult as the competition and stakes are higher.

Once your decision has been made and the die cast you must begin to contemplate your "in"...



Chapter Three, The "in",


   The simplest way to gain entrance into a faction is to display some form of prowess in their chosen field. Lets examine the High School case study again:
   To enter the sporty or the creative groups one could show great skill at basketball or at acting shakespeare respectively. However, often a better way to make a big splash is to reverse the audience. Allow me to explain: imagine a new arrival playing basketball inside the school theatre during a drama lesson, or another arrival singing 'Pirates of Penzance' during a stint as team goalie! When their desired faction hears of their brazen exploits right in the faces of a rival faction, they will be falling over themselves to invite the newcomer in!
   If you find yourself lacking in abilities or skills then another tactic, or "in", is to befriend one of the lower ranking pawns in the group. They will be eager to gain status by 'recruiting' a newcomer and will not be as picky or cautious as their overlords might be. Play hard-to-get while boasting of your skills in the desired area (creativity, sports etc.) and hopefully the pawn will take the bait. Once you are attached to them, it will be child's play to gain acceptance amongst the lower echelons of the faction.
   As a final resort one could always attempt to trail around behind a faction-member every hour of the day until they give in and admit you to the group (not to be attempted if the faction or member has a violent or rebellious temperament!)



Chapter Three, The Heirachy,


   By now you will have began to form a rudimentary idea of who does what, when and where. Schools, workplaces, youth groups, government and churches all have hierarchies, wether formal or informal, of some sort. Your next priority must be to map out who are the movers and shakers. Who wields the real power? If you can do your stuff on the Big-wigs then all the rest will need no persuading to respect you- this is much quicker than ingratiating yourself one pawn at a time.
   Of course, for the leadership to even acknowledge your assistance, you must already be an 'insider' (see Chapters 2 and 3). Outsiders cannot, by definition, become movers and shakers.
   This stage of the game cannot be rushed, one must become fully acquainted with the ins and outs of group management. If, as is likely, the boss is too big a target, then you must select another major player on which to attach yourself. They can act as a stepping stone to bigger things. Try not to aim for someone whos expertise or contacts you might later need, as this could get very messy very quickly.
   Once your target is acquired you can begin the moves.....




To be continued.......

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